in classical Latin, it means ‘in the middle of things‘ – I use this section to not freak out about how many things I’ve got in the works, and also as a memory aid for insurance against future episodes of chronic illness.
You can read it too if you’re interested in the writerly/occasional musicking things I do/am going to do.Why do I make these so link-laden? I’m proud, grateful and chuffed to be associated with them, doing work I love, so if you’re curious, look ’em too. I don’t work in a vacuum, and these folks inspire me.
general stuff (updated Sun 9 Feb, 2020)
- I’ve no idea what I’m doing from here onwards, given I thought I wouldn’t be…’existing’ anymore
- I lost my job and miss the kids I worked with immensely (to be clear: I didn’t leave and am not sure exactly what the reasons were for my employment termination but not going to fight to stick around where I’m not wanted…which is already 95% of my existence; for a brief second I wished I were a straight cishet male of coloniser complexion with no invisible illnesses. Also: please sack people in person. You’re not being gentle by doing it via e-mail)
- at the top of my tenor viol game and kind of have to be for April; swan necking like I’ve never swan necked before! and no longer have feeling on the side of my left index finger
- being depressed-depressed and non-mood disorder depressed about white people and how exclusionary Western high art early modern music is: why is it okay for white people to suck on the viol but intolerable for me to? And to still not be welcome once you start to suck a lot less? (don’t fall in love with niche interests)
- fuck Brexit, fuck Boris Johnson being able to recite ancient Greek texts by heart for nearly five minutes, fuck the Australian Government for having a PM who goes on holiday while the country BURNS, fuck rape apologists becoming OAMs, fuck queer and/or disabled discourse still being so whitecentric
- stuff to tell you about Hecate journal and poems not borne out of psychological pain
- a Midsumma night’s dream…performance
- the public health system still having no idea about PMDD which it turns out I’ve most likely had ever since I started menstruating in grade 6 *audible exhalation* — seriously, how is it fair to start that young?!
- where the hell did the month go when not staying indoors thanks to bushfire smoke, red mud rain, getting drenched in non-mud rain and living my best Wildean or Rimbaudian life
- learning that cis bi males are just as shitty as cishet ones (yeah, they’ve been ‘colonial in complexion’ – god am I going to overuse that phrase now that I’ve learnt it); I don’t think I’ll ever truly understand hierarchical polyamorists. Not sure I want to, either
- another Midsumma night’s dream…performance, and thinking of how lucky I was to know Judith Rodriguez
- rehearsing with a theatre troupe and trying to be a minstrel
- contemplating life without one of one’s non-subsidised medications due to unemployment