Weihenstephaner Hefe Weissbier | eat, drink, stagger

Panic panic panic.

That was me trying to get a booking for my Sydneysider bestie L for a bunch of us Twitterers to dine at Cookie. For days, no one seemed to be answering their phone. When I finally got through, of course they were all booked up for the night we wanted to dine.

Panic panic panic more.

Tristan suggested The Deanery and I remember hearing some food blogger wanksters saying the food wasn’t half-bad. So I booked.

Relief!

Not to betray my (old) age or anything, but didn’t The Deanery once used to be frequented by drunk, suited bogans? Perhaps so. It didn’t seem so upon my first visit: the bar area was crowded but the punters were polite. The dining area looked very fancy indeed and the venue’s wine storage is visible from almost every table. Woah. So this is a wine nerd joint, eh?

So of course I ordered a glass of Bridge Road’s Chevalier Saison. I later learnt on Twitter that the keg that just been tapped that same night we were there and more reassuring, The Deanery’s Twitter presence was conversing with Bridge Road’s. Good to see more good food places getting in on the craft beer love.

It gets better.

I didn’t actually order it at the time, but Tristan and Luke had a bottle each of the Weihenstephaner hefe weissbier. Remember guys, when life gives you lemons, get it the fuck away from your hefeweizen. One of my favourite pearls of wisdom from Twitter. Remember folks, this is the One Wheat Beer To Rule Them All.

I love how the menu is divided into small, medium and large dishes, allowing you to choose lots of small things to make up a meal. Of course, if you prefer the more traditional option of just getting one main, there’s that too. Luke opted to do this and had a humble old steak. He seemed pretty taken with it!

His partner Kim chose the Momofuku-inspired steamed pork buns as a starter, as did Tristan. Due to the absence of serious tech, you’ll have to suffer my ghetto mobile phone photos. I do apologise as it won’t do the morsels justice. I believe these appear in the Momofuku cookbook so you can try your hand at making them at home, like this blog has. The consensus seemed to be that The Deanery’s take on them were okay.

Kim then went with the duck pie, celeriac purée and preserved mushrooms on my erroneous advice that it came highly recommended. Turns out I had confused it with The Lincoln’s duck pie. She decided to order it anyway and declared it wonderful.

Big sis L started off her culinary adventures with the quail with coconut, yoghurt and tamarind chutney. She really enjoyed it but as quails are a somewhat bony bird, that can dampen the nomming experience. Just the way the figurative cookie crumbles!

After much indecision (with which the waiter was not very sympathetic, it has to be said), for mains she chose to have the pork belly. Greedily, I looked on!

I had two starter-type dishes: first, a trio of freshly shucked oysters with the house made XO sauce – not only do they look visually stunning, but devouring them was a punchy, flavoured treat. The last time I’d had oysters previous to this occasion, they weren’t fresh so this restored my confidence in them! A trio wasn’t enough.

My second gluttonous escapade was the rabbit rilette with prunes. I was curious as to what rilette was and discovered that it’s a meaty, finely shredded preparation that lends itself to spreading and snacking as if parfait or pâté.

Consider this bouche much amused! Under the layer of fat, the meat hides making it easier to spread and enhancing each others’ flavour. I love these sorts of dishes because I really do find they whet the appetite but they’re also substantial if you’re not wanting an epic fatty meal.

To bulk up my deliberately small meal, I ordered a side of the watercress and fennel salad. As a personal preference, I would have preferred more watercress rather than fennel and for the salad to be equally composed of both ingredients as fennel is rather astringent. Besides, I’m British and we love watercress, haha.

Tristan’s main was the slow braised goat, almond and currant couscous with yoghurt. High fives for goat meat! Surprisingly, I don’t think he was as gushy about it as I expected.

The fitout of the eating area is swanky and the service is mostly lovely – big sis L wasn’t impressed with the waiter that served her and to be honest neither was I, only because I sometimes got the impression that he’d much rather be doing something else than helping our table (as was in evidence when we asked for the bill). The rest of the staff were great and it’d be ace to try out more enticing menu items on a future visit! Was a shame there was no time for dessert as we had to nick off and pretend to be cool cats at yet another Melbourne hotspot…stay tuned!

Confession: even though I really like Tuesdays, for some reason it’s a miserable effort to get to Ale Stars. By the time I arrive, fake smile firmly plastered on for the benefit of acquaintances, I’m stressed, tired and on occasion actually pretty depressed. Maybe it’s the mad dash to get to the Local Taphouse during peak hour traffic?

In any case, it’s not so bad, once you find yourself at the familiarly lit board with the ever-changing beer list. The contemplation begins: which should I start with? Which ones do I need to avoid because they’re part of the night’s tasting? Which ones have I never ever tried before?

Genuinely friendly faces at the bar, pleasantries are exchanged. The day’s disappointment and stresses are gradually erased. I know Shandy feels like people come for the ‘rock stars’ of the craft beer scene, that being when brewers come to visit, but I love the smaller sessions too – more intimate, less rowdy (perhaps…) and easier to chat to other members.

It is possible too that there were those who were scared into attending because this session was devoted to stouts, apparently ‘dark and mysterious’ ones at that. Indeed, some Shandy had no notes for and so the moniker is somewhat appropriate, like the first beer, the Indian Ocean Brewing Company’s vanilla milk stout. It was beautiful – smooth, slightly sweet due to the lactose but still subtle. Doesn’t have the pronounced roasty characteristics some stouts are known for. I may have maligned this as a ‘girlie’ stout but it isn’t really. It’s just gentle is all.

Second beer on the list – HaandBryggeriet’s Dark Force, an imperial wheat stout. Wheat stout, you say? Yep, I don’t believe it myself. It was bready but smelt of dark chocolate, roasted malt and a hint of whisky, the latter being due to being in whisky-soaked barrels. I’m confused however – my notes say it was bottle conditioned? A very alcoholic drop.

We jump back to Australia to a stout du jour and one previously imbibed at the Local Taphouse – Murray’s Heart of Darkness, a Russian imperial stout. Mistah Kurtz, he dead! Holy cow – what a changed beast this is – it’s much sweeter and smoother than it was but a month ago. I think I preferred its first incarnation which was much more aggressive. It seems a little more bitter too. If I had to personify this beer, I’d say it’s King Kong after attending finishing school (I’ve been watching Little Dorrit of late and thinking of how no amount of tutelage could…’refine’ Fanny Dorrit, the sister of the main female protagonist). It was good to get confirmation from fellow beer nerds about HoD’s change too, so as to confirm it wasn’t just my dodgy palate.

The last one in the lineup was one I’d had the pleasure of imbibing a while back and was made available for the SpecTAPular – Dieu du Ciel’s! Péché Mortel. Cor blimey. Heaviest mouthfeel of any of the stouts in this session, with hardly any carbonation and the infusion of coffee. Dark as sin.

A couple of pointers on stouts: you have to let them warm up so that their flavours become more evident. Don’t drink them cold! Also, as our dear Ale Czar instructed us, don’t be afraid to ‘arouse’ the beer – swirl it around in your glass like the beer-tasting wankster you are. Arousing the beer may lead to arousal of tastebuds which could then lead to…you get the picture.

Very, very briefly, I also got to try some wheat beers just before Ale Stars started. My dear fellow Ale Star Mel got a tankard of the Weihenstephaner Hefe Weissbier. HOLY FUCK. You know that Plato theory about forms (that which I shall attempt to appropriate and bastardise in 3…2…1…)? How we have in our heads an idea of what a chair is? Well, now when I think ‘wheat beer’, I shall forever have Weihenstephaner’s one in my head. So freaking awesome.

In the meantime, I had to nurse my Bilboquet l’Archange (a hefeweizen) because I’d not tried any of the brewery’s beer at the SpecTAPular. It was quite a sweet example of a wheat beer. Needless to say, after drinking the One (Wheat Beer) to Rule Them All, drinking this was like being given Cadbury chocolate straight after the 85% cocoa content stuff.

The nibblies were as usual at an excellent standard, and Tristan (Ale Star member #50!) and I shared a bowl of mussels from the bar menu. It pains me to say that they were pretty disappointing. The bread was delicious, but the mussels did not smell nor taste fresh. Alas, no amount of tomato and chilli can mask that (though they did try…). I really should make the effort to get to the Local Taphouse early and just dine upstairs where the food is much, much nicer.

eat, drink, stagger

a very tame lone wolf (formerly in cahoots with riff-raff) who loves to do the above

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not bad for second choice

dark and mysterious stouts