Welcome to the new and exciting blog series from your friends at Eat, Drink, Stagger. Well, new, at the least.

Why am I not surprised that something so logical and simple took me so long to think of — perform a blanket review of all* eateries around my workplace (South Melbourne) on a weekly basis. To start with, I reviewed Relish, an old favourite that I’ve be going to for far longer than I’ve been an obnoxious foodie type. Back to the beginning.

Eat the burger then chips?
Eat the chips then burger?
Eat some of chips and some of the burger?
Sauce with your chips? Beside the chips? On the chips?

Mind. Blown.

The combinations are endless. The existential nausea is…nauseating.

Personally, I like to eat my chips first, then the burger. I sauce them up and then dig in. My theory is that chips are best eaten hot and crisp while their oily texture is an assest rather than an encumbrance.

Of course, this leaves me with a cold burger. Nobody’s perfect.

Daniel, my co-worker and burger buddy isn’t shackled to any particular burger-chip ideology. He is happy eating burger then chips, chips then burger and everything in between. Oh, to be free and easy.

Before you even get to these life changing decisions, you must order. Sacré bleu!

Fortunately my dining companion and I can rarely pass up the special of the day — usually a burger, chips and drink combo. If you do decide to stray from the specials board (heaven forbid!), you’ll find all the standard cafe fare of focaccias, wraps et al. They also do a decent coffee, using Coffee Supreme.

The vast majority of the burgers share a common ingredient, relish (hence the cafe’s name). I had thought it a needless point of difference from other burgers and other burger joints —  a nod to the name without any real thought. Then, on my last visit a change in the relish of Relish (ha!). The relish had improved. Either that, or my affinity for the preserved has strengthened. Whatever the reason, I found the relish delicious. Marmaladesque with a lovely smoky flavour.

If you’re looking for a burger hit in South Melbourne, and want something other than Grill’d, give Relish a look.

* Given that I am a man of limited resources, I will by necessity restrict my reviews to the more interesting places. Shame, I was really looking forward to reviewing the Coffee Club.