south side sprawl – eat with relish

Welcome to the new and exciting blog series from your friends at Eat, Drink, Stagger. Well, new, at the least.

Why am I not surprised that something so logical and simple took me so long to think of — perform a blanket review of all* eateries around my workplace (South Melbourne) on a weekly basis. To start with, I reviewed Relish, an old favourite that I’ve be going to for far longer than I’ve been an obnoxious foodie type. Back to the beginning.

Eat the burger then chips?
Eat the chips then burger?
Eat some of chips and some of the burger?
Sauce with your chips? Beside the chips? On the chips?

Mind. Blown.

The combinations are endless. The existential nausea is…nauseating.

Personally, I like to eat my chips first, then the burger. I sauce them up and then dig in. My theory is that chips are best eaten hot and crisp while their oily texture is an assest rather than an encumbrance.

Of course, this leaves me with a cold burger. Nobody’s perfect.

Daniel, my co-worker and burger buddy isn’t shackled to any particular burger-chip ideology. He is happy eating burger then chips, chips then burger and everything in between. Oh, to be free and easy.

Before you even get to these life changing decisions, you must order. Sacré bleu!

Fortunately my dining companion and I can rarely pass up the special of the day — usually a burger, chips and drink combo. If you do decide to stray from the specials board (heaven forbid!), you’ll find all the standard cafe fare of focaccias, wraps et al. They also do a decent coffee, using Coffee Supreme.

The vast majority of the burgers share a common ingredient, relish (hence the cafe’s name). I had thought it a needless point of difference from other burgers and other burger joints —  a nod to the name without any real thought. Then, on my last visit a change in the relish of Relish (ha!). The relish had improved. Either that, or my affinity for the preserved has strengthened. Whatever the reason, I found the relish delicious. Marmaladesque with a lovely smoky flavour.

If you’re looking for a burger hit in South Melbourne, and want something other than Grill’d, give Relish a look.

Relish on Urbanspoon

* Given that I am a man of limited resources, I will by necessity restrict my reviews to the more interesting places. Shame, I was really looking forward to reviewing the Coffee Club.

Good Beer Week: when our sheepish friends came to visit

Full to the brim with good cheer, great beer and even better company (though sad at missing Yeastie Boy Stu’s breakdancing in quail blue trousers), it was time to jet off to the Kiwi SpecTAPular at the Local Taphouse.

SpecTAPulars normally mean there are twenty special beers on tap, a bell is rung once a keg is drained and there is an opportunity to taste all the beers on offer in paddles of five. Me, Tiff (fellow #beergirlrager), Tristan and bestie K had decided on our gameplan very early – we’d all buy paddles of all twenty beers and each have a sip of every beer.

After being spoilt rotten at the beermen.tv Hair of the Breakfast, it seemed like the logical and responsible thing to do.

If the idea of twenty beers to choose from seems very daunting, fear not! The Local always have a ‘passport’ to make your journey a good one – not only does it have a list of all the beers, but notes and general advice on beer tasting.

Kiwi SpecTAPular passport to goodness

Steve, the owner of The Local Taphouse, and I directly quote, was very heartened by the success of the day:

Of the 20 or so SpecTAPulars we’ve held across both Taphouses, there have been some big ones but the Kiwi SpecTAPular was the biggest yet in both venues.

Quite an achievement! I remember the last one I was able to attend, the Aussie SpecTAPular had punters lining up at the doors pre-hour of establishment’s open.

But onto the beers, eh? I suspect I might’ve had palate fatigue but my personal highlights were the second half of the beer listed in the passport – from Yeastie Boys’ Rex Attitude (which you guys already know I love from previous post at the breakfast) onwards.


There were oddities, like my palate preferring Renaissance Stonecutter in the bottle over it in the keg?! Sacrilege, I know. 8 Wired’s Hopwired couldn’t displease if it wore its dirtiest underwear – that was fab.

The Three Boys Oyster Stout and Mike’s Imperial Porter absolutely hit the spot for the weather (though it was nice and toasty inside the Local given the amount of punters).

One of the earlier beers sampled that I liked though advertised as hoppy, I preferred its maltier characteristics – the Moa Five Hop. Again, could be my palate crack talking.

Every one of these SpecTAPulars is an absolute treat to attend. The staff do a phenomenal job, the patrons are always so polite and you end up exchanging tasting notes with absolute strangers and on top of that, it’s a great way to sample beer from a specialised place – in this case New Zealand.

I didn’t see him at the Local in costume but co-owner Steve got into the sheepish spirit of things too.

Till next SpecTAPular…see you at the next one?

The Local Taphouse on Urbanspoon

cold, poor and lonely: the prescription is pho

I’d been really unwell but had made a commitment to catsit in a part of town that I didn’t actually realise is something of a personal Bermuda triangle for me. My body was hating me – everything was making me nauseous and/or vomit. Even asthma attacks – if I coughed too hard, I threw up.

Life was going well but eventually my body conspiring against me was really starting to get me down in a almost in tears way.

I don’t do tears. Anger, apparently, but not tears.

Thankfully, Tristan came to give me a bit of comfort and distraction. The trio of cats I was looking after were equally wonderful, but somewhat ravenous (I’d thrown up on myself practising my melodica with no warning and they tried to eat my vomit, I shit you not).

Both of us were poor. Box Hill was nearby. It was time for pho. It seemed somewhat sacrilegious to go to Box Hill for pho rather than not Richmond or Footscray but I had no money to fill up my petrol tank.

We decided to give Pho 888 a shot. At least if I hurled, it would have been with the knowledge that it provided some comfort and sustenance at the time and at $8 a bowl, it wasn’t going to be a guilty hurl either.

Pho 888's magic sign

Tris got the sliced rare beef pho which I coveted. Can’t go wrong with the classics, can you? Warning in advance: the photos are as ghetto as I was feeling.

sliced rare beef pho

The condiments were more than pleasing – generous amounts of everything and fresh. Always an excellent sign.

pho condiments

Despite my food envy over Tris’ choice, I went with the beef sausage with black peppercorn pho. I first had something similar at Co Do and it has haunted my palate ever since in the best way possible. So, so good. My dish did not disappoint and I slurped and scarfed down my bowl as if I’d never had pho in my life. Apparently it was just the thing to settle my ailing stomach. Oh noodles, why you be so good to me.

beef sausage with black peppercorns pho

Service is minimal, but that was part of the charm. I’d chosen it based on Urbanspoon ratings and proximity to trio of adorable beasties’ palace and quite a shame I actually live so far as I’d definitely revisit though would be keen to hear my self-appointed pho king Billy’s opinion on it of course as my broth palate isn’t anywhere near as developed as his.

Pho 888 Box Hill on Urbanspoon